Dad and Mom visit - U.S. Independence Day weekend.

"Ok Earl. Uh-huh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Daddy wasn't buying what I was selling

On the streets of Morrison, CO while mom was doing some window shopping...

Red Bud is definitely not "Satanville"

Well declared. Straight out of a letter to the editor published in the North County News (Red Bud's hometown weekly newspaper).

Tapes 'n' Tapes - Larimer Lounge in Denver

Uncommon, standout street lamp shadow

The street lamps in Belmar cast a very exclusive shadow from late morning through early afternoon. Take a stroll through the area around this time. I'd say it rivals Christo's Central Park"The Gates" exhibit.

Ballpark stink bomb regret

Look at that. It's so pretty. Perfectly positioned. Just precious. That's one eager little bugger. The little stinker is just begging to be crushed by my boot. And it's in the middle of the 5th inning at a Colorado Rockies game. NOT SO FAST.....one of my friends spotted it and expressed serious disfavor right before I launched the little crowd pleaser. And against my better judgement, I retrieved it and put it back in my holster. And now I have ballpark stink bomb regret.

miserable family reunion at a godforsaken little corral

For both Patches and his little brother, the experience of being reunited was a complete disaster.

I've got a part-time gig at the Denver Zoo

You should come check out my show.

Looking for a silverback gorilla in the vegetation

Silly Ricky! Silly!

This photo of Ricky Martin was funny to me when I walked in drunk and saw the magazine on the coffee table open to this page. It was funny when I looked at the photo on my camera screen. And it's still damn funny to me as I post this. Look at the peanut head. Look how long his arms look. They look like Jerry Lewis' arms in the Nutty Professor when he was given the barbell and it dropped, stretching the nutty professor's arms all the way to the floor. Check out how long his legs look. Oh Ricky! I don't know. I just think this is so damn funny. Moving on...

Hey super duper stilt guy, could you point out the highest peak in the San Juans?

Upon request, super duper stilt guy was more than willing to pose with his balance stick as boner.

Tiiiiimberrrrrrrr!!!!

The "pushing someone backwards over your crouching friend" trick is funny, but when you do it to a knucklehead on stilts, it is crap-your-jockeys uproarious.

Sir, did they really mean for you to do that to your sandwich?

Check out the kid in the green sweater. I wasn't the only one that couldn't believe the aggressive public love-making with this sandwich.

Big BIG gulp of air before going back in.

Someone farted on the gondola...

Like a Moth to a Flame

That ain't honey. Check out this cool little girl just irresistibly attracted to that beer. Delicious. My first memory of tasting beer was also at a festival (the Red Bud Fireman's picnic) where I'd approach my parents for some relief after running around all night playing tag and going on rides. What is it about festivals that gets parents sharing beer with 4-year olds?

Take this exit

...and head 8 miles south to the lake. And then call me. I'm looking forward to your visit.

Jesus is a Patriot.

Glad to see Jesus is on our side. Who wouldn't want to have J.C. on their side when defending their great nation?

Golf Gods Speaketh...Schwacker Listeneth

The Golf Gods sat Schwack down and had a little talk with him about his 25-consecutive year wicked-huge banana slice.

Base jump from deck

In an effort to push the limit of body and mind, I've recently taken up base jumping from the elevated decks of wealthy mountain homeowners. I think their insurance will cover it.