My halfgloves smell like donkey.

6 years, beers spills, cigars, climbing, mountain biking, driving, and guitar strummin'. One pink bead sewn on and still hanging on for dear life. My halfgloves gloves smell like donkey. Come to think of it, so does my leather watch band.

The Sachtlebens

Real Tarzan Vines!

Check it out...Schwack's brother Ted has big ol' Tarzan vines on his Mississippi River bluffs property. I imagine his kids will be gliding through that jungle canopy like little Weissmullers as soon as they're old enough to reach the vines.

Schwacker of the Apes

Schwacker of the Apes moves quickly and quietly through the forest using animal instincts and amazing strength. How his world came to be can not easily be explained

then and now

Foreground - Ancient gravestones in Ireland (the oldest from 1280).
Distant background - Sweet sweet sweet track housing.

St. Canices Cathedral, Kilkenny, Ireland

Endo?

Nope. No siree. On this one, I got the thrill but avoided the spill.

Extreme Ensemble

Ensemble (n): A unit or group of complementary parts that contribute to a single effect

Is it even fair to make an attempt at a caption for this one? Did they have to tie this outfit to the end of a canon and shoot her in to it?

Patches Claus

The nephews and nieces went banana apeshit when Patches Claus made a surprise visit on Christmas Eve.

So disgusting they MUST be delicious.

How else can you explain something like this existing? These eggs must be delicious. How else have they survived years sitting in this bar, soaking in that jar? I suggest everyone think through the consequences of eating one of these things. Here my brother Doug (left) and Skip hoist what will eventually ruin the fun for them and everyone else.

Change that wallpaper, damnit. #1

Question: What do you do when a.) your parents are conservative, b.) they don't know how to add or remove "wallpaper" from their monitor screen, and c.) there will be plenty of visitors over the holidays?

Answer: You set them up with whatever wallpaper you feel is necessary.

Change that wallpaper, damnit. #2

Question: What do you do when a.) your parents are conservative, b.) they don't know how to add or remove "wallpaper" from their monitor screen, and c.) there will be plenty of visitors over the holidays?

Answer: You set them up with whatever wallpaper you feel is necessary.

Boob on a Backhoe

This idiot on the backhoe cut through a network of hot lines and was blown to bits in a blinding explosion right after the picture was taken.

Oh my, what a view! #1

How wonderful the sight and smell of the marina in Port Vendres, France!

Oh my, what a view! #2

I really enjoyed the view of Monte Carlo from a terrace on the Royal Palace of Monaco.

Oh my, what a view! #3

Right off the front of the Windjammer somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea

Lift to the top with my trusty Never Summer

Leisurely creamy cruisin'...

Snow Funnel

Snow gun triangles

Did not pitch in for gas

The old man insisted we take him on the road trip. Yet he wouldn't pitch in for gas.

Sweetest bar ever

The VFW in Red Bud, IL...recently moved up the ranks and is now, officially, the sweetest bar in the world.

I'm still bewitched

The Congo or bust

Apparently the people in the Firebird were too busy or too cool to give this gorilla a ride. He was eventually picked up by an RV full of primatologists.

Outhouse redneck tattoo

This inebriated, outhouse redneck couldn't keep from showing everyone in the bar what he claimed was "the world's funniest tattoo". Hopefully our picture taking further convinced him he certainly has something very, very special.

Frothy Front Porch

Takin' a sixer on the front porch in Wichita Falls, TX.

Lots of thick glass

There's enough thick glass here to build an aquarium.

FYI...

More thought provoking, earnest bathroom wall poetry.

Very unsettling

These angry little things are breeding like crazy in Texas. There are colonies and colonies of them under people's houses. Nobody knows what they are. Something needs to be done before it gets out of hand.

Uh Oh, 15 minutes to Cosby.

On our road trip to Texas, Elmore got very stressed that he might miss The Cosby Show. It was very much a Charlie Babbitt "15 minutes to Wapner" moment. As you can see here, I was able to pull over in Amarillo and get him set up just in time.